This is for you.

You know how sometimes you have one of those nights that you remember forever? And you get a warm, fuzzy feeling like everything was perfect and it just feels right? I had one of those nights last night. It cleared my mind of so many things and created so many new complications. 

All I know is, despite the shitty and terrible things I have felt since yesterday, I am happy. Because I just didn't want to take that jacket off today. Because it felt like him around me the entire day. 

Also maybe because for the first time I really am not sure if I am the caliber of a girl that he would genuinely like. I know he thinks I am attractive and kind of badass, but I actually want him to be intellectually interested in me. I want to be a girl who fascinates and excites him. This is why it is so hard being myself around him. 

Also, I am very weary of all the treatment and the judgment I've been getting recently, so I am trying to keep things subtle. I can't imagine a worse thing than if this blows up in my face. 

[even though I know he wouldn't let anyone say anything bad about me behind my back. But my god, all the gossip that would go on in Quad]